The Culture of Narcissism

By: Julie

Editor's Note: This post was uploaded on behalf of the author.

I remember a time when it used to be cool to be crazy. The protagonists in movies were portrayed as psychopaths that no one understood but were really in the right of it by the end of the movie. There was even that song 'Unwell' that was super popular around the time. The crazies who saw the world differently were glorified.

I suppose thinking back on all this came from my research homework. I'm supposed to be researching swing dancing and culture, but this book is heavily into culture. It went on to talk about 'the culture of narcissism', something that I'd never heard about till today. My first thought was that it was too cracked up to be true. The theory--not explicitly explained in the book, so I might just not have enough information--was summarized as infants not being able to differentiate between their fantasies and the real world. Because of this, the infantile mind becomes frustrated. The culture today does not offer 'transitional objects or spaces' to displace the infantile mind from his fantasies. Thus, he grows up to become a frustrated, neurotic adult that can't relate to other people and prefers his own individual fantasies, such as video games or TV, to interaction with others.

The whole 'infant fantasy' thing made me rather skeptic of the theory, but it was that last part that really got me. A professor of mine said something very similar in observation when he was on the train, "Young people just don't know how to talk to each other these days." At first I wanted to laugh and retort, "Of course we do," but then I thought about it. What he described was he had sat on a train next to a young girl and was making pleasant conversation, now it wasn't even like the guy is creepy in the slightest, so the girl doesn't even have the excuse of being freaked out. But when he spoke to her, she was baffled and wouldn't say more than a word or two in response to a question of "how are you?" The couple that was sitting across from him was equally as bad. They were definitely together but had no interaction. The girl had her earphones in and the guy was blocking his face like he was trying to sleep when it was obvious he wasn't.

And it's been true every time I've stepped onto a train or public place as well. People are so absorbed in looking busy with their own activities that they appear unapproachable. No one wants to talk to someone with their earphones in, but in they go, killing any chance of striking up a conversation. And then there are those who pretend to sleep to avoid having to talk to people or appear un-busy. Sleeping shows that yes, you most certainly are busy--so very busy that you didn't get enough sleep at home and need to fall asleep right there on the train. I used to be guilty of the latter.

I know this isn't the whole world. I know that people genuinely find enjoyment in their music, books, and are so tired that they need to catch up on sleep. I like all of those things as well. I just think it's sad that so many opportunities for conversation are wasted. People complain that there's nothing to do on the trains, but there's a wealth of entertainment sitting right next to them. If one would just open their mouth and talk to the person right there, they'd be entertained for their entire ride. I can't tell you how many fascinating things I've heard from random people on trains or passing on the street.

I also think it's funny how people act like they don't want to talk when they really do. I don't get it. What's the use in denying something you want that isn't wrong?

Maybe this is the so called 'culture of narcissism.' I don't know. ...And how in the world this all relates back to swing dancing, I've got no clue. Hopefully this book will reveal it in later chapters.